my cousins are finally gone. my house is quiet now that my entire family isn't over to spend time at my place every night. although their departure has allowed me to return to my normal routine, the loss of a distraction has me focused on the things that i long to forget--- my uncertain future. please, don't go overboard with sympathy for me right away, i guess i've just never been very good at this job hunting thing.

i think that there are lots of reasons why i'm having trouble finding work. to start with i think that my lack of focus is a serious problem. not only do i not have a clear focus on where i want to be in 5 years... but i don't know what town i should have my forwarded to-- if at all. if my own personal issues weren't enough, it looks like the u.s. economy is going to be in the crapper for a while. i've all but stopped looking for positions in consulting and project management because of the glut of talent out there.

i guess i should have expected this difficulty in finding a job after i had trouble coming out of school. i remember that i had all of my rejection letters attached to my refrigerator when i was in college. i guess it was supposed to serve as an inspiration but i'm not sure that the reinforcement of the failure helped much. after struggling to find a job for months, i got three offers within a week. i guess i'll just have to wait until my offers pour in this time.

until then i'll keep looking for jobs in nyc... or hong kong... or singapore... or shanghai
or maybe i'll take a graduate assistantship and work for free...
or maybe i'll enlist and become a firefighter...

confused? me too. =( ok... no more talking about careers... that stuff is depressing. promise that tomorrow's (yes, i'm going to try to get back to daily updates) entry will be more upbeat... and about something other than work.